You Are Not Alone

RubyWarning:  This post discusses suicide.  Not graphically, and not in detail, but if the topic is triggering to you, you may want to choose not to read it.

Today is 10 September 2013, a day that has been designated World Suicide Prevention Day.  I know that this is a very frightening subject for so many people, with or without mental illness, to talk about.  But do you know what I think is even more frightening than discussing suicide?  Not discussing suicide. Continue reading

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The struggle

the qiuet borderlineHi everyone,

I haven’t posted in a long time and my last post was extremely positive. Unfortunately I have truly crashed since then.

I have treatment resistant depression, BPD, AvPD and OCD. Sometimes I wonder if they’ll add any more diagnoses to my list. Continue reading

The Ethic of Reciprocity

Gravatar… also known as the Golden Rule. I’m sure it is nothing new to you. It is a very old rule. Throughout history, philosophers, psychologists, religions and societies have worded the rule in many different ways. But the basic and very simple truth behind it remains unchanged when it comes to living in peace and equality with one another. Continue reading

On This Day

AngelBirthdays are often triggering affairs for me, and, from what I’ve read on others’ blogs, I’m not alone.

My life is littered with many unfortunate birthdays. When I was a child, I had the obligatory sorts of parties. There were play places. A skating rink, even though I could barely skate (and I can’t skate now), so I hugged the wall.

These were awkward affairs. None of the people there were really my friends–just classmates. Continue reading

May Your Light Not Go Out

RubyWarning:  This post discusses suicide.  Not graphically, and not in detail, but if the topic is triggering to you, you may want to choose not to read it.

Today is 10 September 2012, a day that has been designated World Suicide Awareness Day.  I know that this is a very frightening subject for so many people, even those without mental illness, to talk about.  But do you know what I think is even more frightening than discussing suicide?  Not discussing suicide. Continue reading

Back in hospital

the qiuet borderline* Talk of self-harm and suicide *

So here I am, I’ve been back in the hospital for just under two weeks.

The BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), depression, insomnia and anxiety is extremely venemous. I can’t start to explain the turmoil I am going through. The constant death wishes, then the wanting to live moments. I am all over the place. Continue reading

The flaw in the brilliant diamond

photo (6)Once upon a time I had a teetering, yet outwardly normal, life.  My then-fiance decided to buy me a diamond, even though I insisted I did not want one because of the terrible karma diamonds carry, generally being the products of slavery.  He insisted.  And he demanded that I pick the stone myself.

So I launched into a whole epoch of diamond-related research.  I learned about color, clarity, cut, and inclusions, commonly known as “flaws.” Continue reading

Experiences with Free Mental Health Care

JamesI live in the USA, where health care is not free or taken care of by the state. But I’ve been lucky to experience free mental health care through my university.

In the UW system that I’m a part of, our tuition goes to pay for University Heath Services. A place where basic health problems can be dealt with and referrals can be obtained. When I had a back injury, I went there to receive free x-rays and a lot of vicodin for the pain. It’s free and open to the population of students and graduate students. Some 30,000+ people have access and it’s only 2 floors of medical services with labs on one floor. Yet, no lines, hardly any wait. Continue reading