Preparations

RubyI have to go see my psychiatrist today.

Which means I have to do some work, prepare myself like I haven’t in a long time, not since I ended things with my last doctor almost two years ago.

Back then it was pulling myself together, checking the anger and rage I felt towards him for the ECT thing, ending the relationship cordially, making my exit like a lady. Continue reading

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When You Reach The End Of The Road

Ruby

It finally happened.  Officially, I mean.  I’ve reached the end of the line.  After six-and-a-half years of extremely intensive psychiatric treatment, the first fiveish with an incredibly bright, creative, thinking-outside-of-the-box younger doc; the last year-plus with a man long experienced in the mood disorder game (not to mention numerous consults along the way), it has been made manifest.

Continue reading

A Pictorial History of My Bipolar Meds

DeeDee newMedications are a major part of managing many mental illnesses, but something the general population has a hard time understanding. I’m not even talking about the issues of stigma, accepting “meds for life”, or side effects. I’m just talking about the process of finding the right cocktail to function as normally as possible. It’s hard to grasp without a good example, so here’s the history of my meds over the last two years (keeping in mind that I’ve been on psych meds for over 20 years!) Continue reading

Interactions with Mental Health Professionals

AngelThis topic stems from an idea that I had in relation to the post Be Your Own Advocate.

It’s something I occasionally allude to on my personal blog and in my comments on others’ blogs. Over the last two and a half years (has it really only been that long?), I’ve learned a lot about how to compose myself when discussing matters with other mental health professionals.

First, let’s go over my successive period of interactions with mental health professionals. Continue reading

Stop Looking At My Brain!

RubyA long, long time ago. . . (okay, two months, but right now time is relative), I wrote a post about diving into the world of looking for a new psychiatrist (It’s Time To Say Goodbye).  I sort of had it in my head that I could write posts about my search here on Canvas.  This would be the first, because my moods went off the map and I subsequently slipped off of the radar temporarily.

I’ve had two appointments with one doctor, and one with another.  I also have a consult scheduled in January with a third.  But before I get much further into to how things are going, I should probably just get my views out here.  They’re pretty crucial to understanding my experiences and this post. Continue reading

It’s Time To Say Goodbye

RubyTomorrow, two p.m., I have an appointment with my psychiatrist.  It will be my last.

Those of you who have kept up with my personal blog know that we have had other last appointments before.  But this one will be IT, because I have decided I cannot ever trust him again (he manipulated me into ECT and my own personal Hell ensued), and he has decided he wants to take on a less complicated caseload.  Simple, even ‘less complicated’ doesn’t apply to me in any aspect of my life. Continue reading