New place, new luck

the qiuet borderlineHello everyone,

I wish that I could have posted earlier to speak with all you and keep updated…

But here I am.

After seven years of living abroad and three of those being very sick, I have returned to England to see how it goes here starting afresh again. I have been back for just over a week. Continue reading

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The struggle

the qiuet borderlineHi everyone,

I haven’t posted in a long time and my last post was extremely positive. Unfortunately I have truly crashed since then.

I have treatment resistant depression, BPD, AvPD and OCD. Sometimes I wonder if they’ll add any more diagnoses to my list. Continue reading

It’s all semantics, you say?

SSGI try not to think about my days as a medical doctor too much but sometimes I can’t help it.

That was the case today. My mind drifted back to when I was an intern at the same hospital where I trained as a student. A big third-level referral centre* with the faculties of Medicine, Nursing, Microbiology, Physiotherapy and Nutrition Science  attached to it and the off-campus Ophthalmology and Cardiovascular hospitals a stone throw away. Continue reading

I Am Not OK, But That Is OK

SailorI’ve been wondering recently (as always) why I am the way I am.

I’ve been trying to come up with an explanation.

It feels like I can’t help these ways.  I think the way I think because of all that I am, and all that has happened.  I feel like I use it as an excuse, but am I allowed to feel that way? Continue reading

Rehabilitation after hospitalisation

the qiuet borderlineNearly two years ago, I had a mental breakdown. I struggled for 8 months going to therapy and trying several different medications before things became too serious and unbearable and so I went in to hospital. During these 8 months prior to hospitalisation, things snowballed out of control. I was self-harming and committing self-destructive acts and generally toiling with my own life. It was probably only a matter of time until something serious would have happened to me so I am thankful to my psychologist and to myself, that we could see that I couldn’t continue on and we needed something to change big time. Continue reading