The Not So Great Pretender

GravatarI had ideas for my first Canvas post. I wanted to tell you something good and inspiring. A grand entrance of sorts into this forum. But … I don’t have anything like that to give at the moment.

I could pretend and write here as though I am someone brave. I could write like I am a great conqueror of my own mind and offer you all of my solutions.

But right now … right here … why should I pretend? Lately, if I am tired of anything, I am tired of pretending! Continue reading


On This Day

AngelBirthdays are often triggering affairs for me, and, from what I’ve read on others’ blogs, I’m not alone.

My life is littered with many unfortunate birthdays. When I was a child, I had the obligatory sorts of parties. There were play places. A skating rink, even though I could barely skate (and I can’t skate now), so I hugged the wall.

These were awkward affairs. None of the people there were really my friends–just classmates. Continue reading

The Story Of DeeDee And Ruby

RubyLast October, I had the honor and joy of meeting my amazing Canvas co-founder, Lulu, live and in person.  Well at the beginning of this month, the lovely Canvas author DeeDee Chickadee alighted into my geographical area, and we got to spend a very wonderful day together.  Click the links to read all about the blue tongues, the flaming cheese, me on a rock climbing wall in four-inch heels, and the friendship between us. Continue reading

Disorder and the Internet : The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Lulu newInternet.

It’s a word that has become synonymous with “life”.  How many hours a day can we say that we are “online”?  For some, like smartphone users, we are never truly offline.  The internet has become a deeply embedded part of our lives.  With all of the information available, social networks active and potential people to meet oceans and countries away, the entire world is at our fingertips.  How could this ever be considered a bad thing? Continue reading

Speech For Acceptance Of Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award

Ruby(That’s an inside joke, and as none of you is my father, you won’t get it.)

Thank you all so much for your help in getting Canvas a spot on the blogroll over at A Clown On Fire.  Maybe I can get it together by the end of the week to thank people individually, but right now, I just want to express how grateful I am, generally.  By day two my nerves had frayed almost to their breaking point, and trust me when I tell you that it was not the last time that would happen (specific to the contest).  But thanks to all of your support, the almost never left that equation. Continue reading

Support Is The Name Of The Game

RubySo.  If you have been around Canvas-land these past few days, you undoubtedly know that we have become involved – nay, embroiled – in something very much out of the ordinary for our blog.  Our big old Canvas Family hat (which has to be pretty unique to fit all of our different heads together) has been thrown into the ring to fight for a spot on the Blogroll of Eric, the alter ego of Le Clown over at A Clown On Fire.  Wait, wait. . .  Please don’t stop reading and walk away.

I know this may seem like a bit of fun and frivolity, not the kind of thing that should be taking up your time when you visit this site. Continue reading

When I Realised What I Do is Good

SailorThere are some things you may already vaguely know about me.  My real name is Carrie and I have an alternate personality whom I call Charlotte (not to mention the poor guy, Jack, in the back ground who hardly gets a say in anything).  I live in the UK near London, by the sea.  I am almost 30 years old.  I suffer from depression, I have recently been diagnosed with Emotional Dysregulation Disorder (the new name for BPD) and have lived with a host of psychiatric conditions since I was a child. 

I am also a Veterinary Nurse. Continue reading