Breaking Down The Walls Of “Can’t”

click to read Ruby's bio

click to read Ruby’s bio

Alright, kids, confession time.  I have been feeling incredibly sorry for myself recently.

Oddly enough, it was another person validating all I have been going through this year, telling me I’m not getting all worked up over nothing, that I have had it incredibly rough that snapped me out of my funk.  This person was trying to help me, they said sometimes we all feel sorry for ourselves, we can’t help it.

This is absolutely true.  And I have been dealing with — let’s just keep things short and say a whole lot of crap Continue reading

The Immeasurable Value Of A Good Sense Of Direction

mental-health-day-blog

click for more from PsychCentral

Today, 10 October 2013, is designated World Mental Health Day by the World Health Organization (WHO). They have picked for the theme this year “Mental health and older adults”.  This is an excellent topic, one I hope to read many posts addressing.  It is also one I cannot address on a personal level, at least not in the way I think it is intended.

Thing is, I don’t really write posts unless I can write them with some amount of personal involvement.  I could, but this isn’t like churning out a middle school essay.  For me it’s much too intimate and important.  So perhaps this one I can flip around a little, as the WHO has so kindly given me phrasing which is easily manipulated for my purposes.  “Mental health and older adults”. . . Continue reading

Summer Solstice Girl

Summer Solstice Girl (our Claudia) has posted a major update about her hospitalization and incredibly brave choice over on her blog.  Please go read her story, it’s very important.

[NOT FROM] The Other Side (on) Summer Solstice Musings

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To my fellow Artists …

GravatarLately I have been feeling the weight of not contributing to Canvas as much as I had originally planned. Even on my own blog I have barely had the time or energy to sketch, post and read updates from others. But not posting on my own blog burdens me less for some reason.

I keep quiet mostly about my illness, a stupid male pride thing. But on Canvas I found a means to express and share – partly to help myself process some thoughts and feelings and also in the hope I may be able to help others in some small way by sharing.

“The aim of art is to represent not the outward appearance of things, but their inward significance.” ~Aristotle

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Rare Time, Rare People, Rare Earth

Canvas hat 1

Yep, that time of year has come ’round! *the rare time  So. . . Continue reading

Ruby’s Tropical Depression

RubyHello, dearest readers.

I have to do something I never anticipated having to do, so forgive me if I am a bit clumsy about it.  As you may remember from my last Canvas post, I have been fighting the onset of a depressive episode for some time.  Unfortunately, it is a fight which I lost, and I have slipped into a very severe depressive state.  It’s much more acute a situation than I have had to deal with in a long time.

Another thing that you may or may not recall is that I cannot take any medication for this.  Just a few months ago, I wrote in another post: Continue reading

Goals Are For Losers

DeeDee newTime flies, fun or not. A week, a month, a year simply…vanishes. I graduated a year ago, and it has taken most of that year to recover enough to think about next steps. Another job search, and probably moving. Continuing efforts to improve my health. Things like that.

But then my therapist (a.k.a. Hippie Dude) started asking about long-term goals, after discussing the issue of career choices for ages and getting nowhere. So goals might help, right? I gave it a try despite my doubts and made lists of “goals” for various part of my life. Continue reading

Preparations

RubyI have to go see my psychiatrist today.

Which means I have to do some work, prepare myself like I haven’t in a long time, not since I ended things with my last doctor almost two years ago.

Back then it was pulling myself together, checking the anger and rage I felt towards him for the ECT thing, ending the relationship cordially, making my exit like a lady. Continue reading