Don’t mind me if I do

SSG

Click to read SSG’s bio

After a very emotional week, I am happy to report that today (last night, really) was the first nightmare-free night in what felt like the first time in forever.

I feel like breaking up in song like Anna of Arendelle.

I woke up and it was so weird that at first I couldn’t identify the feeling. It wasn’t until I got off the bed shortly after waking up when it hit me. Continue reading

Public Service Announcement

SSG

click to read SSG’s bio

I am going out on a limb here and I hope that the powers that be (a.k.a. Ruby) are ok with it.

The thing is, we’re a family, right? So, I figured that I should keep my Canvas family* on the know.

I’ve been Team Canvas for… what, two years now.  And then there is this other Canvas dude, who joined our lovely family just a couple of months ago. He’s been a bit quiet around here but he has his reasons**.

The funny thing is dude and I…

Wait for it…. Continue reading

The Immeasurable Value Of A Good Sense Of Direction

mental-health-day-blog

click for more from PsychCentral

Today, 10 October 2013, is designated World Mental Health Day by the World Health Organization (WHO). They have picked for the theme this year “Mental health and older adults”.  This is an excellent topic, one I hope to read many posts addressing.  It is also one I cannot address on a personal level, at least not in the way I think it is intended.

Thing is, I don’t really write posts unless I can write them with some amount of personal involvement.  I could, but this isn’t like churning out a middle school essay.  For me it’s much too intimate and important.  So perhaps this one I can flip around a little, as the WHO has so kindly given me phrasing which is easily manipulated for my purposes.  “Mental health and older adults”. . . Continue reading

Lines and Colours

SailorIn my mind, I am normal. This is because I live with me twenty-four seven (OK, not always twenty-four seven because some of those hours I am asleep).

I have BPD. In the past, I never realised that I feel emotions more easily, more deeply, and for longer than others do. I thought the intensity of my emotions was normal. Turns out, it’s not. I read somewhere that in non-BPD people an emotion typically fires for 12 seconds. In BPD’ers it can last up to 20 percent longer. BPD’ers emotions also repeatedly re-fire, or re-live, or recur, however you want to say it, so emotional reactions occur for even longer. I do. I go over and over and over the emotions, pinging from one to another like a steel ball in a pinball machine. Continue reading

Intelligence and Mental Illness: A beautiful Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Waste

SSG

Brilliant mind - depression meme

Scumbag Genetics meme


It has been said that a beautiful mind is a terrible thing to waste. And yet, it would seem like every day I live is just one step closer to wasting this mind of mine. Continue reading

Did you get to work this morning?

alicecardsDid you get to work this morning?  Then you accomplished a monumental feat.  Does that sound crazy?  I mean, you get up and go to work.  Simple, right?  No.  In fact it takes several steps.  If you are depressed, or even just plain tired and burned out, each step is a hurdle in itself.  Here’s an average overview of my morning.

6:00 A.M. The alarm goes off.  You have to crawl out of bed.  Out from under the warm covers.  Don’t hit snooze, it will only make it worse. Continue reading

Someone I Admire

alicecardsDepression can make you think that nothing you do matters.  If you’re a mom or a caretaker of children, you think you’re closer to Peg Bundy than Donna Reed.  The funny thing is that when we’re down, we concentrate on what we don’t do.  What we don’t realize is that the things that the children in our lives love and remember about us are not the fabulous trips to Disney World or big flashy Christmas presents or even cake you made to look like a life-size Darth Vadar. Continue reading

The Cool Table

alicecardsHas anyone else ever been a child?  Were you popular?  You know, like a cheerleader, or a jock, or something like that?  If so, go away.  Oh, I’m just kidding, I guess you can stay.  Though what I’m about to say might totally blow your mind.  Also, it’s probably longer than an episode of Bachelor Pad, so you’ve been warned.

You see, popular people, there are a lot of us who were not popular.  In fact, some of us were the opposite of popular.  I had a friend like that. Continue reading