Ten Years Gone

Ruby

 

Dont fall down now

You will never get up

Dont fall down now. . .

~ Everclear, ‘Strawberry

My problem is I always get up.  That may cause some cognitive dissonance on the part of the reader.  I mean, arent we supposed to keep getting up, to keep fighting, in my own words, to keep advocating until we are. . . . Continue reading

Should I, Or Shouldn’t I?

Soul Survivor new

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In a perfect world, all doctors would know that people with psychiatric issues are regular humans, just like everybody else.  They would not look at our diagnosis, our health history, our med list, and automatically assume that we are drug seekers.  They would not automatically write off our symptoms as being “psychosomatic.”  I use quotes there, because the word “psychosomatic” means that the mind is causing a disorder that is expressed by the body.  I happen to be of the school of medicine that believes that virtually all physical illness is caused, ultimately, by imbalances of body chemistry that are initiated in the brain; therefore, all illnesses are “psychosomatic.”  And guess what, folks: they’re real illnesses. Continue reading

Miss Diagnoses

DeeDee newAnyone who has ever looked up a “serious mental illness” like bipolar disorder has been smacked in the face with dire warnings and frightening statistics about misdiagnosis. If you google my lifelong companion ADD, you’ll see lots and lots of dire warnings and hand-wringing about overdiagnosis. But you won’t run into are dire warnings, frightening statistics, and hand-wringing about repeated, compounded misdiagnoses.

Continue reading

Explanations And Understanding

RubyI have stuck my feet back into the vast ocean of blogging.  All the way up to the ankles, though the waves seem to be hitting mid-calf more and more.

When I announced my blogging hiatus, I made it complete.  I had already begun a bit on a hiatus from all personal social media.  At least that’s what I intended it to be.  In fact, I’ve decided not to reactivate my fb account, not even a little.  I’m both happier and healthier without it.

But that leaves me with a massive dilemma, bigger in every way than the one I recently wrote about. Continue reading

A Very Mini Update From Ruby

RubyHello to all of you, my very dear friends.  I want to check in, but before there is time for misunderstanding to occur, I want to be very, very clear about one pretty important thing, which is I have not returned to blogging.  Actually, I may need even longer a break than I had anticipated, which is why I’m writing this — that and the very thoughtful and wise words from someone I know who pointed out that my prolonged silence might cause worry.

I am still maintaining our social media, as I said I would do.  And occasionally, when posting a picture or a link to facebook, I’ll get to sharing my thoughts a little bit. Continue reading

Mental Illness By Way of Hormones

DeeDee newThat I have a mood disorder goes unquestioned; the true nature and biological aspects of cause are up in the air. Besides the usual childhood traumas and genetic influences, it looks like hormones are in part to blame. Don’t start any hating about stigmatizing women’s normal, natural cycle, because I’m not talking about a normal experience.

I’m talking about a set of oversensitive physiological responses to and/or chronic imbalances of basic hormones like adrenaline, cortisol, estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. The kind of sensitivity to adrenaline, for example, that means I can’t have medications containing epinephrine (aka adrenaline, often found in injectable local anesthetics, to reduce bleeding) because it immediately sends me into shock. Continue reading

Ruby’s Tropical Depression

RubyHello, dearest readers.

I have to do something I never anticipated having to do, so forgive me if I am a bit clumsy about it.  As you may remember from my last Canvas post, I have been fighting the onset of a depressive episode for some time.  Unfortunately, it is a fight which I lost, and I have slipped into a very severe depressive state.  It’s much more acute a situation than I have had to deal with in a long time.

Another thing that you may or may not recall is that I cannot take any medication for this.  Just a few months ago, I wrote in another post: Continue reading

For Your Weekend Enjoyment ~ A Brief Note From Ruby

RubyTo Our Dear Readers,

I know we have been a little shy on posts lately, for lots of reasons.  I can only speak to my own issues.  I have been fighting a depression — denying, refusing, admitting, and finally reaching out.  It has left me very short on words, even so far as being able to respond to comments and emails.  I thank all of you so very much for your patience.  Please know that I am so grateful for your words of support, and I will respond to all of the wonderful, kind things you have said to me here, on my personal blog, and also on my newest child, a somewhat under the radar “mental health past and present blog” (explanation on the last forthcoming in another post). Continue reading