What Depression Is


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Not just depression, but anxiety, insecurity, and self doubt.

Needing to be there for the one you love when they need your support, but being unable to be of any help because of your own miserable mental incapacities, and loathing yourself for it, leading to deeper depression and even less ability to be there for them. Continue reading

Self worth


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The good news is that I’m 46 years old, have a home, have a job, have two beautiful daughters, have the most wonderful fiancée, and have my whole life in front of me.

The bad news is that I’m 46 years old, live in a smallish flat only, have only a part-time job and no career, am not much of a father to my children, have repeatedly failed my wonderful fiancée, and have an entire life of further failure to endure.

Now there’s a glass half full/half empty scenario if there ever was one, right? Continue reading

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy


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When I finally started to not care about stigma and admit I had serious depression-like and anxiety-like stuff going on, I had little idea where the journey of treatment would take me.

Not surprisingly, it was the advice of a good friend future fiancée, herself a mental illness veteran, that got me going in the right direction. The right direction was cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).  It sounded like just the thing I needed, and I pressed my at the time therapist to get our weekly sessions into the realm of actual CBT, instead of the patient-directed Q & A that had been the hallmark of our times together. Continue reading

The Greater Effect

SidI don’t know about you, but when I give thought to my depression I tend to find myself thinking almost exclusively in terms of me, how it affects me, and how bad off I am because of it.  It’s an unfortunate side effect of mental illness, assuming I’m not the only one who does this.

The reality is that mental illness has influence over far more than simply one person.  Would that it really were just the sufferer who suffered!  In the short time that I’ve acknowledged having depression I’ve seen quite the path of destruction left as I saunter through life. Continue reading

It’s All New To Me

SidWriting about mental illness is a fairly new gig for me, so let it be no surprise that you’ve not seen me here on Canvas before now.  I gladly accepted the invitation to join the Canvas team, so you’ll be seeing me every so often now (woot!).  To say I was jazzed to be asked to be a part of this fantastic endeavor would be an understatement – even though, in true Sid fashion, I openly doubted my qualifications and ability to write here.  More on that in a bit. Continue reading