My heart weeps

SSG

Click to read SSG’s bio

Hi here. It’s been a while. Let’s me dust a little…

Ah, that’s better.

I haven’t posted or visited anyone’s blogs in weeks (months?). It is no that I have writer’s block. I have SO much to say. But every time I try, the world just choke in my throat so after staring at the empty New Post window, I just close it and go somewhere else.

It is the most bizarre thing.

I am happy. Probably the happiest I’ve ever been. Here in Lansingland, I have a beautiful backyard with a big pond with many geese -I counted 62 at some point, three blue herons, about two dozen mallards and plenty of little birds, including sparrows, robins, swallows and starlings. We even have a resident beaver who is building a dam!

Feeling grateful

I even witnessed one of them teenage geese doing the dive thing, losing his balance, going all the way around and ending up belly up, his little feet pointing to the sky and struggling to turn back to his normal floating position. Needless to say I was on the floor, holding my belly, so hard I was laughing (after making sure the young goose was OK, of course). I’ve watched those guys go from little, cute-overload goslings to teenage fellas to young geese learning the flight formations that will take them safely to their winter migration spot. Although to be honest, I am secretly hoping this particular group doesn’t migrate so they stay with us the whole year round.

I truly feel grateful and privileged to be privy of such beauty. I was sitting on the balcony around dusk a few weeks back, watching the blue heron and listening to goofy geese’s adorably silly honking. The fireflies were out, brightening the night with their delightful lights. Tears came to my eyes as I felt the fairness and loveliness of the world around me and was overwhelm by it.

But I am also sad, terribly sad. Probably one of the saddest I’ve ever been. It is not depression, though. It is pure sadness. The world hangs heavy on me. The pettiness of human beings. How little value a human life (or a hundred) has for some.

All lives matter

As I said on FB, Yes, I am naive. Yes I am a simple girl and yes, I spend most of my days drawing rainbows and cats but I don’t understand how a person gets to think they matter more than others. Children are not born thinking this way. Children are TAUGHT to hate, discriminate and value certain things more than others. Children are thought to value some lives more than others. We are doing this to ourselves and by doing it so, we keep failing our children. And failing life.

When are we – as a race, going to learn?

FB post - Burdened

War, war everywhere, which of course, means civilians are being killed. Health practitioners from Doctors Without Borders are being killed too.

Meanwhile,  a dumbass who calls himself Christian declares on his radio show that ““Ebola could solve America’s problems with atheism, homosexuality, sexual promiscuity, pornography, and abortion.”

The ugliest thing

OK, fine. I may be showing an amazing lack of compassion* for calling him a dumbass. I admit it. But how on earth? If not a dumbass, he’s definitely an ugly person. A very ugly one.

In the mean time, my heart weeps.

*I have blogged before on how I struggle with being compassionate (and not judgmental) toward people I feel don’t deserve compassion 😦

EDITED TO ADD: Many thanks to Cate Reddell for being a constant source of thought-provoking photos and quotes. I am pretty sure the two ones I added here, I got them from her FB page 🙂

© Summer Solstice Girl and A Canvas Of The Minds 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Summer Solstice Girl and A Canvas Of The Minds with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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14 thoughts on “My heart weeps

  1. OK, fine. I may be showing an amazing lack of compassion*

    Instead of condemning yourself for a lack of compassion, congratulate yourself for having such restraint compared to those who kill Doctors, blow up civilian aircraft and call for genocide of those who are different.

  2. Reblogged this on both sides of the wall and commented:
    “I don’t understand how a person gets to think they matter more than others. Children are not born thinking this way. Children are TAUGHT to hate, discriminate and value certain things more than others. Children are thought to value some lives more than others. We are doing this to ourselves and by doing it so, we keep failing our children. And failing life.” ~ Summer Solstace Girl via A Canvas of the Mind

  3. I can relate to what you say. So many dreadful things happening in the world at the moment and today we lost Robin Williams who, despite his personal battles, helped so many of us laugh. I’m with you. Keep painting rainbows. xx Ro

  4. I think sometimes there are people who don’t deserve compassion, especially when they aren’t capable of showing it to others. 🙂 I’m right there with ya.

    • 🙂

      It is hard, though. At what point it is righteous lack of compassion instead of me just being too judgmental? I certainly struggle with it but than again, I totally agree with you as well…

  5. We would have to be very ugly humans ourselves if we didn’t judge and even condemn those with so much unfounded hate. Like Chin Up said, be proud that you have a heart and have compassion.

  6. I can only apologise for these so-called Christians who give the rest of us a bad name. I can only surmise that they don’t believe in the God of the Bible who acted out of Love (especially in the New Testament). (I certainly don’t recall there being any words of Jesus about sexuality, although there are rather a lot about treating others with respect and dignity.)

    The world does weigh heavily. Painting rainbows and cats is one of the ways to lighten the load – we may not be able to make much difference, but if we each make an effort to make the places where we are places of mutual respect, then maybe it will have an effect.

    • Faith, if I may be so bold, no one could ever give you a bad name. There are many who are ignorant and bigoted and claim to be Christians, but that is not a disease unique to Christianity. There is fear and blind hatred to be found everywhere, and I think the scary part comes when people accept that this is a representative “Christian” attitude — or the attitude of any group or institution as a whole. I daresay Claudia certainly knows differently, as she did refer to the individual as a “dumbass who calls himself Christian.”

      “. . . if we each make an effort to make the places where we are places of mutual respect, then maybe it will have an effect.”

      I love that. Beautiful words from a beautiful, understanding heart. ♥

      • Indeed! Bigotry, hatred, etc is pervasive and not exclusive of any given religion, of atheism for that matter.

        One thing I very much dislike is people using a particularly bad example, to dis the whole group. As I say every time I see it done, I have met many exemplary, compassionate, wonderful people on each of them. Adhering to any particular religion (except for the Wetsboro one. I have never met a good person from that one) has nothing to do with with quality of the soul and extremist are not by far, a fair representation of any group, as Ruby mentioned already. UGH

    • It is very nice of you to apologize for them but I think you really shouldn’t have. Knowing a fair bit of the Christian and Muslin faiths, I know well that the central pillar of both is love. Not judgment, not hate, not discrimination and certainly not murder. Just love. It is mind-blowing how easy it is for people to get misguided.

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