Hello to all of you, my very dear friends. I want to check in, but before there is time for misunderstanding to occur, I want to be very, very clear about one pretty important thing, which is I have not returned to blogging. Actually, I may need even longer a break than I had anticipated, which is why I’m writing this — that and the very thoughtful and wise words from someone I know who pointed out that my prolonged silence might cause worry.
I am still maintaining our social media, as I said I would do. And occasionally, when posting a picture or a link to facebook, I’ll get to sharing my thoughts a little bit. Earlier this week I realized how much this was bothering me, as it wasn’t right that only the small fraction of people on facebook (much as I do appreciate them) compared with the many subscribed to this site could read them. So here’s the very abridged, general account of where I now am. If you don’t know or can’t recall where I was or why I’ve taken this time away, you can read my last post from nearly a month ago.
I am making my way towards wellness. It is a very slow journey, and sometimes I feel like the more steps I take forward, the longer I find the path in front of me becomes, and the more things there are on it I must somehow find my way through. Not obstacles blocking me, perhaps think of them as mazes that must be navigated and trolls who want answers to riddles before I can cross their bridges and, well, you’re getting my point, I suspect. A great deal of thinking and figuring.
The single biggest thing that allowed me to set my feet walking on this path, which has become critical for me, more so even than I knew when I began, was my ability to pull myself completely inwards, make my life entirely private. No matter how long this path continues to grow, and no matter what I find causing me to slow or to feel sometimes I am turning endlessly in circles as I navigate my way through another maze, or search for the answer to another difficult riddle, or even sometimes both at once, all of it is very necessary. It is the key to my well-being, and I have to continue to do it entirely on my own. This is healthy for me; it is how I have always been.
I want so much to thank everyone with the whole of my heart for your outpouring of love, kindness, understanding, prayers, and support, especially in the comments on Ruby’s Tropical Depression. I’m not nearly ready to respond to those yet, though someday I will, because I was honestly floored by the response I received. Having said that. . . I guess just please know that I probably will be the same if you comment on this post. Very appreciative, but unable to say anything back at present. So please, please don’t feel obligated.
All of you keep me going, you honestly do, even those of you who may not comment, who may click a like, who may even just “ghost” — read without commenting or liking. Knowing you have been here, visited, found enough value to investigate further. . . Doing the little bit that I can to keep this going for each of you is the difference for me between getting up and moving forward with each day and allowing myself to slip down into the abyss. And as long as I am moving, I have no fear of what is ahead, so thank you. With everything in me, thank you so much from saving me from that abyss.
By the way, I have gathered a number of images into albums on our facebook page, some funny, some meant to motivate and inspire, some just a hodgepodge of things I felt ought to be shared. I’m very big on giving accurate credit and sourcing (though these albums are far from perfect), which is why it wasn’t until very recently that it occurred to me I can post links to the albums and you can view them intact (with sources) if you should wish to, even if you haven’t a facebook account. And so, dear ones, you will find these links under our new page, Picture Pages.
But I will leave you with a direct link to a very special album right here: Ruby’s Corner
(Incidentally, what the hell does mini mean? I never can get that down. 😉 )
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