You go to your mailbox and your nomination for “Greatest Person Alive” has finally come. It would be “Greatest Person Who Ever Lived in the History of History” except they didn’t get your audition for Idol.
Your game of tag with your preschooler became epic when you not only tagged them, but picked them up and body slammed them on their bed.
Then, you laid on top of them singing, “I am the champion!” Loudly while they look at you strangely.
You siphon all of your awesome musical ability into your own national anthem of the country that is your roof.
You can actually see your credit card literally on fire from all of that swiping. On what you ask? Post-its and cheetos.
You consider going to Urgent Care, because they scheduled your doctors appointment in an hour.
You yell angrily at the toaster to, “Hurry the hell up! I want waffles!” except you put a bagel in there.
You put your keys in the back of the toilet because you’d definitely remember they were there.
You take up yodelling, ukelele repair, interior decorating with finger paint, clock watching, flower arranging with sticks, and making butter by hand, all in the same hour.
You’ve mastered all of the above.
You shake your fist at the television, because it is uncooperative about coming on using your mind. Hey, it did yesterday!
You threaten a wall’s mother because it’s in your way.
You think the laws of gravity suck.
You have the energy to write this post.
© Tallulah “Lulu” Stark and A Canvas Of The Minds 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Tallulah “Lulu” Stark and A Canvas Of The Minds with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.