Sleep eludes me tonight.
I have taken the appropriate doses of the appropriate pharmaceutical cocktails, to no avail. I know this feeling.
It is born of anxiety, of a tightening in the muscles at the back of my neck, and in my diaphragm, restricting my breathing. I have to pay special attention to the jaw muscles so they don’t get stuck, Heaven forfend.
Unmitigated, this can escalate into one of those dreaded “mixed states.” Highly unpleasant, although not add hard to get rid of as depression, yet more acute and all encompassing.
I hope I can accomplish a sufficient pharmaceutical knockdown, but one that won’t leave me zombified in the morning, or what passes for morning, for me.
Bumping up the Seroquel would mean dreamland for sure, but it would be fuzzland tomorrow, and I have to drive and take care of my dad. Another Ativan will have to do.
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