I have two drafts posts here on Canvas [okay, I actually have more than two but those two are... particularly difficult]. I’ve been meaning to finish them for a while. I started one back in May and the other one a bit more than a month ago. I tried again just now. Read the first one, couldn’t bring myself to write anything. Closed that tab, went to the other, felt myself being triggered again. Closed that tab too.
So, I’m going to write about something that has been bothering me for a while instead. Continue reading
This year has been… interesting. That’s the understatement of the decade.
See, the problem is that I am a person that feels deeply. There are many terms for the kind of person I am, depending on the field. You know, burden bearer, empath, things like that.
I am a scientist. Okay, was a scientist. But my mind still thinks like one. So, as some of you know, I am not given to esoteric, mumbo- jumbo explanations. If anything, I am an skeptic of sorts. But the fact is that I – indeed, feel deeply, even beyond what one would consider normal. Continue reading
I find myself absolutely and completely demotivated as of yesterday. In one of my worse hermit modes too. Don’t want to see people, don’t want to talk to anyone, don’t want to shower and get dressed, don’t want to leave my cave.
Such a stark contrast with the day before yesterday (and the previous two weeks). And while this time around the reason is a no brainer, I have had to deal with this annoying mood switching all my life.
It would seem like I only have to modes, super excited or super indifferent/hermit. Continue reading
An entirely new thing to me. I even blogged about it last year. Or maybe it was a comment on someone else’s blog? I don’t remember. But the sentiment was one of gratitude for never having experienced those crippling moments. Continue reading
I have all my needs covered. I have a roof over my head. I have food. I have clothes.
I have the perfect job for me. One that has allowed me to avoid the hell that is fighting the disability board.
It allows me to work from home -on my PJs, mostly playing on social networks. If I’m too tired (not your normal tired but the chronic fatigue kind of tired), I can take a two hour nap in the middle of the day to recharge. Continue reading
When you deal with mental illness, you get used to seeing a lot of people you care for steer away from your life.
Sooner or later, friends and significant others get tired of your moods. And it’s not like I can blame them. I know that it can be very difficult to deal with seeing someone you love (or at least like) going through the difficult patches.
I am also not saying that people should stay in abusive relationships because they know that what’s causing a person to be abusive is his/her mental illness. Continue reading